Birdiefest in McKinney. The TPC Craig Ranch buffet was open and STAT SHEET helped itself to seconds, leaping from 7th place to 1st on the back of a Si Woo Kim (-27), Sungjae Im (-19), Brooks Koepka (-18) tri-fecta that nobody saw coming. A -64 best-three beats your in-laws at Christmas, and STAT SHEET beat the league by six.
WILSON ran second at -58 — Scheffler doing Scheffler things (-25), Blades Brown introducing himself (-18), Spieth pretending it's 2015 (-15) — but couldn't catch the Si Woo Kim freight train. NIMSGER's -54 grabbed third. Meanwhile, the actual tournament was won by Wyndham Clark at -30, who was bought by KOVALA for the bargain price of SEVEN American dollars and, crucially, was actually in the lineup. A $7 winner doesn't grow on trees. STAT SHEET pockets the weekly $25 for the trophy.
In the alternate universe where NIMSGER had the foresight to bench Rico Hoey (-15, perfectly fine!) for Tom Hoge (-20), they're hoisting the trophy at -59 and bumping STAT SHEET down a peg. We do not live in that universe. NIMSGER lives in the universe where they started Michael Thorbjornsen, who missed the cut, and left $5 of Hoge on the pine. Sorry, NIMSGER.
Homa Cup wise, the headliner of the week is — surprise — Wyndham Clark, who rocketed from #75 to #44 OWGR and gained KOVALA $3.27 in a single week. Si Woo Kim climbed #24 to #19 and gained STAT SHEET another $1.53 on a season swing that's now up $13.76 since draft day. The losing side: Tommy Fleetwood didn't even play and still lost CP $0.52 on the week (down $3.20 since draft day — the lynchpin continues its slow oxidation). Season-wide, Cameron Young remains the diamond of the league, up $26.70 since draft day for JORGENSON, with Matt Fitzpatrick (KOVALA, up $22.36) hot on his heels.
Segment 2 race: one event left, and the top three are stacked like beers at a tailgate. JORGENSON 133, VANILLA 130, WILSON 127. The $100 segment bonus is sitting on the table at the Charles Schwab Challenge. JORGENSON's lead is three points; one bad lineup decision next week and the whole thing tips. The cash board confirms what we already knew: JORGENSON is up $150 on the segment, WILSON +$100, and KALLAS keeps writing $25 checks to the league — another last-place finish, another donation, now down $50 for the segment. CP joins them at -$50 in the cellar.
Goose egg parade was sponsored by KOVALA, who started THREE players who missed the cut (Horschel, Schmid, Mouw) and still finished sixth because Wyndham Clark did the work of an entire roster. The award for most expensive bagel goes to NIMSGER's Michael Thorbjornsen at $8 — a starter, a cut, and a meaningful chunk of why that Hoge swap stings more than it should.
Next up: Charles Schwab Challenge at Colonial. JORGENSON has Ludvig Åberg (#13) AND Akshay Bhatia (#26) in the field with the segment on the line; CP has J.J. Spaun (#9) and a real chance to stop bleeding; KALLAS rolls out Russell Henley (#12) and prays it's enough to not lose another $25. One week. $100 on the table. Set your lineups.